day 4

friday, june 21

woke up to greyness. the psi had been below 100 through the night and maybe thats why i slept well. but its climbing again (256 at 9 am) and visibilty is the lowest its been so far. there has been talk of seeding clouds but it looks like nobody is going to do anything about it. probably nobody can. yesterday some indonesian official called this an act of god and said singaporeans were being babies complaining about it. aaargh i would love to smack the guy and dunk his face in a pail of concentrated smoke.

i think my mind must have acclimatised though for i am feeling less depressed and panicky today. maybe that will change through the day.

but i am also feeling angry - at racist world media that does not report this ecological and atmospheric disaster. i call it racist because news in certain parts of the world is more important than in others. i feel that if this was happening somewhere in the US all the world would know about it and maybe the UN would already be involved in putting pressure on whatever country was creating this disaster. world pressure to act sometimes does work. i really am wondering how the environmental biggies of the world have not got involved in this yet. rainforests contain zillions of species and apparently the average rate of extinction is 140 a day! thats a whole lot of forest burning and not to mention the plant and animal life suffocated by the fumes. how far can a bird fly to breathe?

yesterday i went to the gym hoping to release endorphins. i saw a flock of mynah birds sitting around the edge of the deserted pool dunking their heads in the water and wondered if they found some relief in the water. i hope they did.

there are so many things happening in the world that don't get reported in the media. just because i/u dont know something does not mean its not important. 

i have lost touch with a part of myself here in singy. the activist part. if i had still been in india i would know how to make noise about this so more of the world would know. that part really knew how to research and write so people would feel something was important. that part would know how to get a petition going. it feels like it would be a long inner journey to reach that part again but perhaps its not. i miss that part - it was always full of passion and intensity. very alive but maybe a tad reactive. more exploration needed. 

this is a rushed post since i have an appointment this morning and must leave soon. yes, thats why i am not bothered with grammar maybe i will come back and edit and add...