i think its time to start trying to get back a life. moving is listed as one of the most stressful experiences in a persons life. what we have done is a partial double move and sending emails to shanghai every day (finally the owner is in direct touch with us) is becoming really stressful.
i woke up in darkness. it was 4 am. i felt really depressed but as i tossed and turned in bed i began getting really angry.
so far i had focused on just getting work done, on solving problems and settling in somewhere. there had been no time for allowing too much feeling. and even in the limited time i sat back and reflected i focused more on what i did to contribute to my predicament so i could learn something and grow. but today complex emotions began exploding out demanding space and time. i connected with the intense sense of being cheated, conned and squeezed for a fault that lay more with a negligent owner and agent than me. this has reached an unbearable limit.
i used to have a strong temper. years ago when i saw the damage this was doing to people i loved i worked hard to change it. i began with meditation and yoga which helped but then one day i had a dream about a woman in a karate gi and i began doing karate. the effect that had on calming my mind and helping me control my temper was even more obvious.
in karate there is no first attack. every kata starts with a defensive move. its something that has seeped into my very being now. and perhaps that this is one reason that i and my family have tried to be polite and attempted to see all perspectives as we deal with this situation and communicate the same. i think they saw this as weakness and no matter how reasonable we tried to be we found ourselves labelled as demanding. today i feel its time to go on the offensive and get through this as fast as possible.
in communicating with the owner and earlier the agent we have taken time to craft emails that explain our point of view and list relevant details to explain the same. all we got back were short emails insisting that we demanded too much and vague references to 'opportunity' costs. even when we repeatedly asked them to list both the demands and costs we have received no answer. whereas on our part we have painstakingly listed all the items that were problematic. we have a list of sixteen items and maybe taken separately some may seem minor and if there were just three or four of these on the list it would be reasonable to expect the tenant to have patience while they were fixed by the owner. yet, sixteen such items would in my opinion definitely count as a breach of contract on the owners part and make it 'untenantable.' she says our interpretation of the list is subjective. but are really all things that subjective? if you were renting out your apartment at $5200 would you not want the washing machine to work, the shower pipe to be nicely fixed and not just taped on with cello-tape, the drains cleaned and proper cleaning especially in the kitchen and bathrooms done before tenants walked in? would you not want your tenants to have a happy move-in? i know i would.
as for costs incurred. any business has overheads and start up costs. any owner wanting to rent out an apartment and get $5200 in rent for it has to be prepared for pre-move in costs of painting, cleaning and removing scratches i think. i don't own property so perhaps i don't really understand the way their minds work but our current apartment owner has wanted to keep his property looking good and is willing to paint and do the big repairs while we take care of the other things. we expected the same in this apartment. were we wrong? i don't really think so. we too incurred serious costs that we were just willing to let go off.
the owner still is seeing a one sided view and asking us to pay her six months rent.
luckily singapore is a good place to resolve disputes like this i believe. there is CASE and SCT which can be approached. we were hoping to settle this without involving others but i guess in some cases outside mediation is needed. but it is unfortunate that the owner did not just take our offer of us losing three months rent so that she and we could walk away and go on with things.
maybe its time to take a run. i used to train five days a week before and now its been five days since i have exercised. stress levels around this are high but our 'home' is looking pretty great now. only four boxes to unpack :)
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