woke after five hours of sleep. dark circles under my eyes and a heavy pressure in my head. last night after we ate another makeshift dinner my family got down to settling our living space in order. during the day we had finally been able to reverse all utility and postal changes and had begun to think of opening boxes. we changed the position of furniture in our living room and we seem to have a whole new room now. less cluttered with lots of 'white' space.
as others slept in this morning i sat and watched the horizon. there were dark clouds hovering over the distant shenton way area and the cars on the ecp bridge looked like tiny toys moving silently and smoothly like well oiled cogs in some machine. as i watched the clouds cleared and sunlight spread over the land.
everything is still uncertain about the fate of how things will resolve with the problematic lease and owner. but we seem to be coping better. we have been lucky in so many ways. the hidden flaws in the apartment were revealed to us before the movers actually took our furniture over. this apartment that had already been put on the market had not yet been leased out and we were not homeless even for a day. maybe we have been lucky too that the owner did not accept our original offer of forfeiting the entire sum of money we had paid to them but demanded more for we have been advised that there was definite breach of contract on part of the owner and we should not lose our deposit.
what we lost was peace of mind but there seem to be more moments of clarity as days pass.
there is a hindu myth, the churning of the ocean of milk, that i have always been fascinated with. those who have gone to siem reap will know it. there are many layers to the story and each detail of it can be reflected upon for days, but the jist of the story is that in the battle between gods and demons there was a time that demons held the upper hand and the gods were advised to churn the ocean to get at the nectar of immortality. they could not do this alone and had to co-operate with the demons for this task. mount meru was used as a churning rod, the great snake vasuki became the churning rope, and vishnu as a turtle supported the mountain on his back to prevent it from sinking. Once they began churning the first thing that emerged was a terrible poison that threatened to engulf the universe. shiva took it into himself to save life. it was only after the poison that the treasures appeared. last was the heavenly physician holding the amrita.
i feel its so fitting to think of this myth during this experience in the year of the water snake. i hope that now that the poisons have emerged during our churning and we have absorbed them in the best way we could, we will now see some of the treasures float up. already being able to count my blessings is definitely one precious gem.
since this horrible experience started we have been surrounded by suggestions, support and love from friends and so much understanding and good will even from strangers. this is the most priceless of treasures for me. i am so blessed that this experienced showed me how many people care about us and the amazing goodness within people.
i know myths, stories and belief systems are not absolute truths. they just hold some wisdoms that may be useful to help me get through difficult times. the calm mind that can touch the insights that any churning throws up can go through trying circumstances and emerge with more light and love.
as others slept in this morning i sat and watched the horizon. there were dark clouds hovering over the distant shenton way area and the cars on the ecp bridge looked like tiny toys moving silently and smoothly like well oiled cogs in some machine. as i watched the clouds cleared and sunlight spread over the land.
everything is still uncertain about the fate of how things will resolve with the problematic lease and owner. but we seem to be coping better. we have been lucky in so many ways. the hidden flaws in the apartment were revealed to us before the movers actually took our furniture over. this apartment that had already been put on the market had not yet been leased out and we were not homeless even for a day. maybe we have been lucky too that the owner did not accept our original offer of forfeiting the entire sum of money we had paid to them but demanded more for we have been advised that there was definite breach of contract on part of the owner and we should not lose our deposit.
what we lost was peace of mind but there seem to be more moments of clarity as days pass.
there is a hindu myth, the churning of the ocean of milk, that i have always been fascinated with. those who have gone to siem reap will know it. there are many layers to the story and each detail of it can be reflected upon for days, but the jist of the story is that in the battle between gods and demons there was a time that demons held the upper hand and the gods were advised to churn the ocean to get at the nectar of immortality. they could not do this alone and had to co-operate with the demons for this task. mount meru was used as a churning rod, the great snake vasuki became the churning rope, and vishnu as a turtle supported the mountain on his back to prevent it from sinking. Once they began churning the first thing that emerged was a terrible poison that threatened to engulf the universe. shiva took it into himself to save life. it was only after the poison that the treasures appeared. last was the heavenly physician holding the amrita.
i feel its so fitting to think of this myth during this experience in the year of the water snake. i hope that now that the poisons have emerged during our churning and we have absorbed them in the best way we could, we will now see some of the treasures float up. already being able to count my blessings is definitely one precious gem.
since this horrible experience started we have been surrounded by suggestions, support and love from friends and so much understanding and good will even from strangers. this is the most priceless of treasures for me. i am so blessed that this experienced showed me how many people care about us and the amazing goodness within people.
i know myths, stories and belief systems are not absolute truths. they just hold some wisdoms that may be useful to help me get through difficult times. the calm mind that can touch the insights that any churning throws up can go through trying circumstances and emerge with more light and love.
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