October 1, 2021
So where am I this week? I can only do this in bullet points today. I'm tense—a generalized anxiety around never-ending covid, I think. And my perennial sinus and sore throat which adds to the constant doubt of whether I have covid or not. Imagine living with that for a year and half now.
· I'm sleeping 6 hours a day and that’s better than last week’s five.
· I wake and slowly drink a pot of the new strong assam tea I ordered, while reading, or writing and sometimes watching a news debate. This morning I almost finished The Reader. It is such a powerful book and, in some ways, related to the story I want to write. Finding connection to the other side through confusions? Understanding the other?
· I then worry about my teeth each morning. Stained badly from the one hour of slow black tea drinking which the dentist had told me to avoid. But that is one daily source of joy in my life, and I don’t want to give it up. But I hate how much I worry about my teeth then. I even preponed my cleaning appointment by a month.
· I also preponed my covid booster as I felt a bit freaked by all the messaging suggesting that over 60’s should stay home for a month. Part of me is happy to stay home as I am doing a lot more just sitting on my butt and writing these days. It’s not anything I can pull out and show but I’m just happy doing it.
· I postponed my eye appointment as they feel fine.
· So, what am I writing? The story of friendship torn apart by political differences is just not unfolding, though I have a file of about 5000 words with little unconnected snippets. I discovered the dictate feature in word this week, and delightfully read all the little musings around this story, from all my notebooks into the file. I feel sad because I spent ages over it and the sense of loss of having nothing despite the focus on it is huge. I'm thinking though about the turning point events in the life of my narrator and also about how one boring day in her life might look like.
· I have managed to get my mind into Boiling Frogs again. Chapter One is ready for submission to my online class for critique.
· I still am enjoying the class. Zoom on Tuesday mornings, even the nervy free-write. The first Tuesday I couldn’t write a word. The second I wrote a few lines and even read them aloud. Some in the class are so creative with the prompts, and I love listening to their pieces, but I am ok just being where I am. Another person in that class loves fountain pens too. She had a gorgeous Mont Blanc. I felt inexplicably thrilled knowing that.
· I love the podcasts from that class. They’re addictive. I learn something that I can apply to my writing process from each podcast. And it is easier to listen than make the effort to write, though I do both.
· It is Friday and I'm still struggling with how to structure my karate classes. Now we have to train in pairs that remain the same throughout. And some still join by zoom, so to have a balanced class takes preparation. I've said this before and I will again.
· Today I was supposed to walk with a writer friend whom I haven’t seen for three months or so (she was travelling). I was excited to finally catch up with her, but it got dark, rainy and thundery and we had to postpone.
· Oh, and now most of us do weekly Antigen Tests at home. I sometimes feel that with this testing of asymptomatic people, that is seeing numbers climb quickly, soon all of Singapore might be in quarantine. Just kidding, but not.
This week’s check-in is a bore. Not all weeks can be exciting. I'm now going to watch the rain which has already ‘wiped out’ the distant buildings. I can barely see the indoor stadium. It's so beautiful to sit on my writing room futon and sip a green tea while letting my mind drift into the rain.
PS – prepone is not a proper English word but an Indianism. And eeks—the bullets disappeared when I published, and so did the formatting.
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