Day 5 of 27 — In 14 days, this too will have passed.

 June 25, 2021

 

I just spent ten minutes wandering around our 1000 sq-ft apartment looking for my glass of water. I looked on all the coasters I have scattered on the furniture and then circled back and looked again. It was a while before I remembered that I had put it in the freezer to chill. 

 

It’s been such a day. Stress levels are lower than earlier this morning, but I still feel glazy, blank-ish. I woke and made a detailed list of things I needed to get done. But I feel like I’m in a ‘foetal ball with arms around head’ state most of the time. I uncurl in a snap when I have to deal with things related to my sis in Bombay. There are things on my list—low thought and focus level things—that I could attend to, but every time I think of anything but my sis my head begins to ache. My normally multi-tasking brain has blinkers on for everything but one thing. It would be nice to tick off some things on that list but I don’t trust myself to do anything. I feel like I will make mistakes doing the simplest things, and then fret over that adding to my stress. I did cut fruit, wash up the lunch things, do a sinus rinse and erm… not much else yet. Oh yes, I organised someone to teach my karate class tomorrow morning in case things get more messy. And once in a while my knee buckles while I am walking.

 

They say crisis never is just about one thing. I can confirm this is true from the present situation and from the past. My sis has things erupting in several directions. Some people are simply so self-absorbed and are adding to her tensions. But I am not ready to talk of that yet. Too, much too, angry.

 

They also say that you really know who your friends are and who you can depend on when a crisis breaks. That is true too. I had two friends from Bombay reach out to me, offering help, after they read yesterday’s blog. Friends from other parts of the world offered comfort. Something within knit together when I woke and read those messages. And the seniors in my dojo stepped up immediately to fill any gaps that I may leave while supporting my family in Bombay through this. 

 

I am not saying anything today that we don’t know. But these things should be said often. When people show kindness they change a person’s world. When people co-operate and support others they ‘better’ the world. Yet we laud strong action, that crushes spirits and oppresses, by iron leaders, and call compassionate, collaborative leadership weak. More on that another day.

 

Grateful too that unlike last year when covid positive people were being sent to government quarantine, now people are allowed home isolation if they have a separate room and bathroom. This is the only way my sis could supervise my mum’s wellbeing. Bless Bombay’s Covid War Room.