The End of Elections, and a bit about Authenticity

June 3, 2024

Finally, the Great Indian Election of 2024 is done. And on that evening itself, Sunday, the exit polls were released. A massive sweep for BJP most claimed, leaving many of us shocked. We had watched ground reports and had seen the anti-incumbency beginning to set in. Many voters were voting for themselves and not for the man-god Modi. I mean they were voting based on their own survival needs and not on helping one man-savior stay in power. Some of course were still saying that they didn’t care that they didn’t have a job for ages and that their children could survive by eating mud, but Modi needed to come back. But in every sense of ‘logic’ the BJP couldn’t better its last performance which had been a wave for Modi. 

And as I watched the exit polls some strange discrepancies were noticeable. A party, an ally of the ruling party, that had contested 5 seats was shown as winning 4-6. The BJP itself in a state that had a total of 26 seats was shown to be winning 33. Why were pollsters, some supposedly respectful, making such careless mistakes? What was the point of showing such huge sweeps? More boot licking or another grand scam about to be perpetuated on the Indian people?

I don’t know which, I mean I have an opinion but cannot prove it, but I do know that Modi magic has waned and if the party wants to retain power it will have to perform better. As I watched a discussion I saw a supposedly respected journalist moderator, Barkha Dutt, ‘scold’ a young participant of the AAP. She said that while he could say that the elections did not have a level playing field, he could not say that they were not free and fair. I honestly wondered why she was trying so hard to maintain that the election was free and fair when the behavior of the Election Commission had cast doubts on the same. I wondered, isn’t a level playing field one of the main characteristics of a free and fair election? And if it wasn’t level then it was indeed ok to claim it wasn’t free and fair and there was no need for her to scold him? 

Enough said, time to detach. There is a lot of agitation within, and I need some distance to express the nuances of what I feel. But in this time, of democracy being in threat in several places, I’d love to know your thoughts about democratic processes and if you think democracy contributes to growth or other systems are better. 

On a personal level it’s been a marathon week. Busy, more busy, and busiest. 

In the tiny pockets of inner slowing, which mostly came on buses going from one place to the other, one of the things I’ve been thinking of has been authenticity, what it is and how to recognize it. Is it some innate essence in us that we all possess, and we can discover by a deep dive within, and by whose guidance we can live once we find it? Or is there no such core essence and we are constantly a work in progress, seeking, finding, and re-creating ourselves before doing the same all over again? 

I guess I was thinking of the things in my life that once felt ‘not me’ and became ‘me’ and some others that I didn’t ever identify with, but which others pointed out about me. I was also thinking of why I gravitate and pick out certain people because I find them authentic. It is not about them being interesting, or nice, or brave, or anything, but it is about a sense that they are not phony. But labelling someone phony is a judgement and maybe that stops me from seeing who they are. 

Whatever it is I often trust a gut feel I have about something, about people, and use that to decide who I hang out with. Maybe this has come with experiences—both good and painful? 

But I am also making choices and then realizing a few days or even hours later that I ignored a feeling in my gut and made a choice that I regret. And then it is time to reflect on what made me ignore that gut sense. 

So me, ya, I don’t think I have an innate essence that is who I am, but I am continuously a WIP, always seeking and discovering. I know this quality in me has confused some people when they suddenly, impulsively, see me change from a strong position to another. They have wondered if they can trust me. But often the same people later have said that this decision to change also was part of my process of trying to live an authentic life.

I made a choice two years ago to stay with one part of my karate organization when it split into two. A lot of my favorite teachers made the choice to be on the other side. My choice was dictated by practical considerations for the Singapore dojo in the first year. I didn’t know if the new organization would survive, and our tiny dojo needed stability. 

The new organization survived well but in the first year I saw people in it doing things that I could not identify with. These involved public shaming of the head of our organization, more than once. As this negativity, this inability to move on, went on and on it felt this toxic. It went against everything I believed what the spirit of being a practitioner of traditional martial arts is. Today I am glad I made the choice I did and though I do see respected friends and teachers in the other organization I would not be happy being a part of it. I am glad and grateful that many in our little dojo have chosen to trust my choice. 

That’s all for this week. I need to get this out today rather than tomorrow as tomorrow is counting day and I am unsure that I want to be ‘internet’ connected. Maybe I am running away, and I don’t know why but I feel shamed by this possible wave victory of a hate-mongering and corrupt party. 

Would love to hear your thoughts about authenticity and how you make choices or hear of a difficult choice you made that you regretted or were happy with.