May 21, 2024
And the Indian election continues. I feel weary of it as do many others, but it continues to be as shocking and entertaining, with absurdities, and the twists and turns. India loves using cricket analogies and many U-tubers agree that BJP is now on the ‘back foot’, at least some of the time. It is thrilling to watch because one-sided contests are boring to everyone, except the winners perhaps.
I said a slightly contrary thing in my email chat where we share news about Indian politics. I said I thought it better that the BJP wins again, but with very reduced margins.
As a people we, or at least 2/3’s of the nation, are truly at the point where we think the ruling party will do anything—violate any and all rules—to win. I have been watching ground reports and people are sick of a lot of what Modi has been shouting at his rallies, especially the Hindu-Muslim stuff. They are sick of seeing corrupt leaders co-opted into the party while Modi keeps yelling about how incorruptible he is. They are sick of the way the party jails those they cannot break. The people are also tired of the talk of a mythical Hindu Rashtra that will bring prosperity to all. That dream that has been presented to them now needs practical measures which Modi isn’t discussing in his rally speeches. Yet the people have been so sold with the idea of Modi as the great savior that it is hard for them to link what is going wrong in the country with him. They blame lower-level ministers and ground workers. Many journalists who do ground interviews then say that there is no anger against Modi.
I disagree. I think the people are angry but also the way he has been built up over the last ten years to an almost god-like status is confusing. So, I believe that if the opposition won and if they aren’t able to turn things around quickly enough all the pent-up anger would be directed against the opposition for the mess that BJP left, and Modi would return even more powerful.
That’s why I feel the opposition shouldn’t form the government but should have strong numbers in parliament, so their voice isn’t silenced as it has been for a while. I don’t really worry that the opposition will win because the BJP with the help of the spineless Election Commission will see to BJP’s victory.
In the possible situation that the results are so altered, and the BJP wins with a huge mandate I still think that the tide has turned, and they no longer will be able to hold the people mesmerized. To control the people, which is what they really want anyway, the government will have to become more visibly authoritarian. And that can only lead to more visible resistance. They will have the power to crush and silence any dissenting voice, but the people of India really cannot be fooled forever, even if a ton of money is spent on trying to do just that.
I believe that wind has changed direction in Indian politics.
And for me personally? I saw a few changes this last week.
A friend invited me to a healing experience which I resisted strongly, perhaps because of lack of time. I only agreed to attend because the friend nagged at me when I first declined. On the day of the event, I dragged and cursed, but I also saw that there was no point going unless I was open to it. I worked on my barriers all day and I arrived there with a smiling, open, self that allowed what happened to enter. It did something to shake up an inner status quo. Still figuring it out but it felt like it set up vibrations that shook loose some stuck spots.
Working through the memoir course and the assignment threw up a lot of childhood memories. I saw that I didn’t have any strong ambitions as a child. I only simply rebelled and did what I was told that I as a woman shouldn’t do. So, I decided I would be an astrophysicist, and the only strong desire I remember is wanting to get away from home, more specifically from the joint family. I suppose my childhood wasn’t very happy and that is one reason I have few memories of it.
When I did an exercise to write about me from the perspective of someone else, I picked my mother, and I realized something else. I remembered that as a child I had a strong urge to understand myself, the family I lived in, and the world around me, and I wanted others to understand me. I remember my mom telling me I should drop that need as nobody would try to understand, and I should adjust to life the way it was. But it sounds like I was a ‘people’ oriented person who had humanistic and social concerns, doesn’t it? Yet I didn’t understand myself and know this then, and chose to study Physics. I didn’t return to these ‘loves’ until 1992 when I was 32 years old. Half the age I am now. So, I lived half my life confused about what I wanted from it, found what I wanted, then another half of the half in a country where I couldn’t possibly follow the desire I wanted and had to find other ‘loves’ here.
It is fascinating to discover this about myself. It probably says more, but I don’t know what yet.
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