Modi Magic

April 30, 2024

I’m still struggling with the allergy related issues, but I saw a doc last week and also am being more careful about exposure. But it still feels like I have to pull myself above some numbing fog to get anything done, including just making a cup of tea. 

India is moving through the third week of elections. The BJP’s speeches and particularly the PM’s are sounding rather desperate. Very different from speeches from previous elections. Now he and his party are raising ‘bogeymen’ and asking for votes in the name of fear. The bogeymen include the Congress — its past and present leaders, its manifesto, and the future course it will follow if it is voted back into power. The other things the public are told to fear are Muslims, and the Western World particularly the media who are out to defame India. Only the BJP can keep them safe from all this and maintain the glory of our rising Vishwaguru. 

I didn’t think it would happen so fast, but it feels like Modi has peaked and with it the BJP, or perhaps the BJP will manage to rise from the ashes of Modi. Downward swing it feels but still winners of this election, for sure. Just a month ago they were still high on the Ram Temple and still beating every bit of glory from the G-20 they had hosted many months ago. Confidant of winning 400 seats with their allies. 

I have been following whatever U-tubers I can find who are showing ground reports and doing serious analysis based on what they see. People are voting for Modi but they are also fed up of him, or rather of his talking of irrelevant things and not about things, like unemployment and price rise, that occupy their minds. He seems to have no emotional connect with them which is surprising as he has been known for picking up the pulse of people. It just surprises me that BJP ministers are unable to talk about their achievements over the last years at all. They did have a few, and they also appropriated few others from previous governments (including their own party's), so I don’t get why their speeches are only filled with creating fear now. Also it makes no sense that they are ‘doctoring’ elections in seats they would win anyway? Just doing it because they can? It will cost them at some point but before that it is costing Indian democracy and the people of India. 

Yet they can’t disguise the reek of the fear of losing which one can sense while watching any of them. They swagger and boast but their body language is not that of winners. 

I am trying to limit my election news time and focus on being present in myself but the urge to just check the latest, watch one little video etc. is strong. I feel like I scatter almost the moment I wake. I feel pulled in different directions and the discipline of doing just one thing at a time is missing, so I often end up not doing as much as I could if I focused. At the end of some days, I hate myself for it.

Probably because of my Memoir course I am thinking a lot about the nature of my own memories. What I remember, what I forget but somebody else remembers, what we remember differently. Why we remember things certain ways, what about our beliefs and values, and hurts, makes us remember the way we do. So many writers have created fiction out of these musings. For the assignments I mostly find memories related to my karate journey or my family. I am losing interest in writing about my karate journey but since nothing else has replaced it I do write about it. I also am losing interest in writing and wondering why I bother to write at all. I could do something else a voice says. Not sure if this is one of those plateaus or blocks that trick one into not writing, or it is a true feeling and my tryst with writing is done. I hope I will know which soon. Things ebb and flow within me and I am happier when I follow the flow and recognize the ebb.