Time with the Cats

September 11, 2025

            My time with the cats is coming to an end this weekend. 

I had ‘work’ and ‘play’ goals when I came here and based on vague memories from my last visits, I knew to be moderate with them. I’m not sure how this is possible, but I am feeling both ‘empty’ and disappointed about what I’ve managed and feeling good too. I guess in this blog I am trying to make sense of this contradiction.

            But before that I want to share a conversation that spouse and I had this morning. After twelve consecutive days of being woken up early and earlier with each passing day, by Yoda the spouse asked, ‘why do cats need to wake sleeping people?’ (Yoda of course even wakes sleeping cats!) And then the spouse added, ‘why do cats need to knock things off the table?’ (He had knocked off several things including my iPad off the bedside table.)

            I don’t know the answer to either and might google them later. But this morning, as we sat looking bedraggled and droopy-eyed while I tried to jolt awake with the caffeine in a second cup of  Assam tea, I replied, ‘ya, and they get rewarded for it. We don’t punish cats the way dogs sometimes get punished.’ I mean we had fed the cats despite Yoda’s annoying behaviour, cuddled them, and I had even stood sleepily keeping watch near the open door as Yoda had his morning peek at the corridor—I would call it neighbour spying but most days there is nothing to see. But this visit though Yoda has been particularly pesky, and I have been particularly patient with him. But except for the very early wake-up visits, and one chomp when I tried to syringe water into him (left it to the spouse after as he is better at it), he's been particularly affectionate with us, though it was also easy to see he had some very 'bad' days towards the end of the trip when I am guessing he is missing his mum (he is mama's boy) He either sat on his mum's bed and self-calmed or when he was being his old self he chased Heka around and woke her constantly when she was asleep. Heka has been smooth and sweet except for two days when we gave her the wrong breakfast and she complained vociferously. 

            But back to that weird contradiction. This was one of the most ‘distracted’ visits, dominated by trying to heal from symptoms of the allergies that I had arrived with, never having even one night of six hours sleep, and unexpectantly being shocked by renovation/hacking sounds from above for three days. Despite this I managed some of the stuff from my ‘work’ goals list. I couldn’t do anything that required a ‘full brain’ but first drafts, reading craft essays/books and making notes, and other such stuff, got picked at daily. My ‘play’ list was dominated by drawing and painting. The sleep deprivation made even this hard this time, but I sampled all the colour pencils from my daughters around seventy piece water-colour pencil Derwent set (that she’s had since school) and drew the same tree outside the window in a different set of colours every day. This morning’s tree in shades of brown (my favourite from which was burnt carmine) was significantly improved from the first tree in shades of cream and pale yellow. 

            I’m going to have to find a way to get more ‘brain involved’ work done even while tired—I can train something or the other even on my most physically challenged days—but I am glad that I had some discipline and worked despite fairly severe illness and fatigue. I also drew/painted much less than I have the last two times I’ve been here, but my one daily drawing of that tree and some practice of negative space cat drawings showed improvement and for that I am more than pleased. Actually just doing a daily drawing of the same tree is what I am most pleased about and not the improvement — daily practice is more desired than the one lovely image, process over product. I guess this is where the feeling good comes from, and the source of the self-criticism is obvious.

            In my time here but I have watched the news but haven’t had strong reactions or formed opinions around it, I think because of the tiredness. Only this morning I did feel outraged at Netanyahu’s statement that the world should be ashamed about condemning Israel’s Qatar attack targeting a Hamas delegation, and I felt anxious watching the unfolding chaos in Nepal—will something better come from it or will it just end in more suffering for the people. I have reached a point (and I hope I get through it) where even when I see or hear of something that has partial hope, I find it hard to muster up hopeful expectations—whether about the world or my personal self—because of so much disappointment for so long. I journalled about the state of my mind on most days and this stood out.

            So ya, this is where I am at the end of my days with my cats. Earlier this week I read the blogs I had written during my last two visits, looking for similarities, differences, hope, or advice and decided that even though I don’t have much to say it will be good to have this record to refer to next time. I will be happy to be home in two days and get a full night’s sleep; and I am hoping that the painting of the external walls of our building on our side is done so I am not assaulted by more health disturbing smells and sounds.