January 22, 2025
Not much has changed in this week, still doing the same old stuff and hearing the same old news nationally and internationally from last week. My dreams have changed though—I’m dreaming of groups of people, rebels, fighting an oppressive regime. Almost always overpowered but never giving up. I guess the dreams make sense in relation to the external world—with Tru-sk installed and the type of executive orders that were passed on the first days of holding power. With the far right rising in many parts of the world it feels important to counter this force, but I cannot (yet) occupy the mental space of a fascist and feel handicapped by that as I’m not sure how one can one truly fight something one hasn’t understood and experienced from the inside.
Tru-sk is the news in the USA, but even independent u-tubers in India covered so many aspects of what this would mean for India and the world. Rahul Gandhi calling the statements of the fascist leader of an extreme Hindu party seditious stayed in the news here for a while, with some filing cases against Gandhi and others saying he had no right to make any statements considering what his family had done. If that latter thought had come from a troll I would not have paid attention to it but it came from a respected journalist and I found the argument devoid of logic (are you bound to be silent because of the deeds of your ancestors?) as I did some other statements that the writer made. Basically, strong moves were made to protect the fascist leader which is not surprising since the organization he belongs to has been both cultivating hate (mostly against Muslims but also against lower castes and liberals) and spreading false news for decades now. Many say Gandhi needs to change his politics for what he focuses on will not gain him electoral advantage, but I am glad he says what he does. It is true that the issues he picks up are unlikely to get him votes but they are important issues that face the country, but that nobody speaks of, and in that he speaks into forgotten spaces that need attention but are ignored, and the silences of which help rich elite and other leeches prey on the middle and lower classes. I’m not sure he would be great in governing the country (though I feel that anyone might be better than the current incompetent tyrants) but I do see him as a person with humanity and leadership. He speaks for many of us with the issues he raises.
And internally the oppressors and the rebels both are parts of me. Yesterday I drew them. Three oppressors large and imposing, two little rebel figures. I named the oppressors self-doubt, health and pain, daily exhaustion (other days they might have different names). The two rebels were not on the same wavelength though they fought as one. One was labelled ‘I can do it’ (fight the oppressors) and the other ‘I can’t do it’. I suppose we all feel that on some days. That we cannot fight the oppressors—external or internal. I began to realize that one of the reasons I was having such a hard time with my oppressors is that I have withdrawn very deeply from society and being part of it was part of where I sourced my spirit. I need to find balance.
What karate means to me has been on my mind since our annual dojo dinner last weekend—beginning with reflections about the past year I also slipped into the rabbit hole of karate memories from the beginning, the middle, and the ongoing. About an hour ago I saw a friend’s status about the practice of budo. One of the things it mentioned was that it should be practiced for short periods and allowed to accumulate through the day. This reminded me of what one of my teachers had said to me about karate. He had said that for him karate being a way of life meant that you practiced it daily and throughout the day, a bit in the mornings, afternoons, and evenings. What he said had struck me and made me dig deeper into both the things I do morning, afternoon, and evening, and what for me made something a way of life. My list included transferring the essence of what the practice meant to me into every other aspect of my life and in the process understanding myself deeply and transforming myself. Though I have often heard people say that martial arts had changed their lives I questioned that in myself—had it changed mine? Often the answer was ‘no’ or ‘maybe’ and that I was who I was with or without it. But lately I see that indeed it has in many ways that I hadn’t realized before. I mean discipline, perseverance are common things that you hear people say that martial arts bring, but for me I wondered if they came from the practice or just from who I wanted to be. Yet there are things that I see have come only from the practice and were not part of my personality growing up—one of these is finishing things. Throughout my life I have left things unfinished, mostly because they felt too easy and I lost interest, or because they were too hard, and I needed a teacher to learn them but couldn’t find a good one. Karate has been hard, and I often have had to learn without a teacher; and this is why karate is where the habit of just showing up without questioning the process has built up. I know places in my life right now, things that I feel I want to give up in, that could benefit from this habit of just showing up.
Watching the tress outside my window is a way of life for me. I do it every day, morning, afternoon, evening, and at night I watch their silhouettes in the moonlight or the light from being in the midst of a city.
What makes something a way of life for you? What do you do daily and throughout the day?
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