July 4, 2022
For the first time in two years, I am alone — have no one else present — for more than a few hours. The spouse is away on a business trip. The first one after 2020.
It’s been a busy few days, each with an early start, but today was deliciously slow — woke to no alarm, a large pot of the assam masala chai, reading in bed, and late arrival at my desk. My body and mind feel traumatized. My body because of a flare-up of sinusitis and a subsequent throat and chest infection for which the doc insisted on a seven-day antibiotic course. Today is the last day J The mind is coping with accelerating destruction of democracy in India.
Maybe others might not see it that way, but the collapse feels quicker now to me. Yet the country has been on a slow boil for a while so it’s hard to tell. Unlike the 1975 declared emergency where everything shut down in one swoop — and we didn’t have to guess if the media was free, or if the police were fair, and the courts just — right now we are still arguing about our democracy.
Many things have happened in the last tenday, but I am not here to list them all. Maybe those that disturb me the most?
A tailor who shared a post supporting the now infamous BJP spokesperson Nupur Sharma was beheaded Taliban style in Rajasthan on June 28th by two radicalized Islamic youth. They recorded the killing and shared it gleefully on social media. It shook me in a different way than the persecution of Muslims by Hindutva groups, because I cannot remember when something like this happened in India. I googled it but found nothing before this beheading. But soon there was another one in Amravati. It was not the same — as no video was made but that could be because the killers didn’t have time. But the victim here too had shared a post supporting the woman. These are terror attacks — as in attacks to terrorize Hindus who support the woman who made remarks about the Prophet.
We have been slowly conditioned to terror attacks on minorities — by Hindutva groups and by the State. Attacks that are meant to terrorize them, scare them into submission, keep them in their place. These have been filmed and shared gleefully by BJP supporters to subdue and show them their minority status in our country. When they happen, I feel disgusted, nauseous, but they don’t have the shock value the first lynching of a Muslim man did. They have been normalized and justified. Hindus are no longer tolerant and that is ok, we are told.
This one was chilling because it was the first from ‘the other side’. And there will be more — as it does feel that some larger planning, some group is involved in this.
Now both sides are terrorized? Both polarities gleeful when 'their side' avenges something, while we in the middle feel the horror of them both.
The law though is increasingly applied differently to both. The police have been weaponized against one and pamper the other. Hate speech is defined differently for supporters and opposers. Hateful or false tweets by one and the other are treated differently by the Government — State and Centre.
Yesterday Twitter filed a suit against the Government for forcing it to take down tweets, by political opposition, in a non-constitutional manner. I had to laugh and cry. Twitter enforcing the Indian constitution? A dark day indeed.
But I was reminded by a spokesperson of the BJP — the fact that twitter can do this shows India is a vibrant democracy. The fact that we the citizens of India hear about this says that the media is free and India is a vibrant democracy. A thriving, radiant democracy.
Will these be the last things that go? Do we wait in this slowly boiling pot for that to happen to declare India an authoritarian state where the constitution functions differently depending on your caste, religion, class, one day perhaps gender too, and whom you criticize? Do we wait patiently till then? Is it possible that a part of me thinks a declared emergency might be better? Because this is a mockery?
Absurd. These are absurd times. Brutal. And I don’t know how those of us who want ‘more democracy’, are surviving them. Be gentle with yourself if you are suffering like I am, but for everyone’s sake, Do not go gentle into these dark times. Rage, rage, rage…
If I went gently, I would regret it hugely. But everyone is different and you should do what keeps you well.
My way of gentleness with myself are these slow days of trying to gather my pieces, meeting with friends that contain and make me forget for a while, reading, and this blog where sometimes I try to prevent my insides from being polarized.
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