Snap-Shot

 June 9, 2022

The days have whizzed, and sleep has been disturbed. So much is going on in India which is distressful and divisive. I feel lonely at times in groups where these things are not talked about. I know a lot of people have said that it is too overwhelming and feels too hopeless. It’s hard to see what an individual can do to turn the tide in these times and a lot of people prefer not to talk about it. I seem to have withdrawn from such groups (though I miss being there) and am thankful to the one e-mail group where we do share and discuss. It’s a place where I hear of the most horrendous things and also the place I learn to hope. We talk about the frustration of not connecting to family or of stilling our speech when a guest in our home is bashing minorities or praising progress based on doctored numbers. 

 

We are in such times in so many places. George Orwell’s doublespeak is visible everywhere. His quote, “Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing,” haunts my hours. It is the most cruel thing one can do. 

 

My experiment with engaging on some social platforms where right wing trolls run amok continues. I see the counter comments also are getting more hateful. Where will it all lead us to? I am less angry, more detached, but still the pain of hateful comments pierces the body. I’ve found some allies and when the trolls swarm in I get support sometimes. One is a woman who is much kinder than me, a Brahmin who has grown strong with the Hindu scriptures and I feel has truly absorbed the essence of unity, tolerance, love. Our views differ at times, but I think neither can bear the injustices we see around. It makes me less lonely.  Another is a man who literally took on all the trolls that were attacking me yesterday. It is all virtual but it feels very physical. But sometimes the discussion goes in a softer direction when people start talking about the universal values and even spiritual truths. I spoke to an agnostic today who is so troubled by all the violence in the name of religion. 

 

I learn a lot in these perhaps self-indulgent engagements about the different kinds of thoughts of my country people.

 

Something happened this week in the country that is fueling division and it scares me but it is too raw of speak about yet. I feel so sad, so lost, most of the time. Many of us saw as far back as 2002 or even 1992 where this path was leading us down but so many others scoffed at us. 

 

My Creative Non-Fiction course keeps me busy. This instructor gives a lot of ‘handouts’ and her feedback is incisive. I think it is helping me tighten my non-fiction writing. Though not this blog. This is where I relax —so I don’t edit here. I use this space to gather. 

 

I will be volunteering next month for an outreach program to help first responders learn to see signs of crisis in a person and engage them. I’ve found a new space for my Sunday dojo — nice mats, solid bags. Spouse will be travelling more again for work after two plus years of staying put, and I will be alone again after many, many months of never being alone. Wonder how that will feel. Lots of change ahead and I do need to gather. 

 

This post is not saying anything — just a snapshot of ‘me’ right now.